Laying Flowers 2
by Brandywine421
Summary: Heh. I'm so creative with the titles today. This is a sequel to my story Laying Flowers. It is necessary to read LF's first to understand this AU. Prologue Up.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related.**  
AN: This has been brewing for awhile but I think I'm finally ready to get the ball rolling on this. Here's a teaser. This is a sequel to my previous story "Laying Flowers". Many people have asked me to 'finish it', but that story is long completed. But here is a sequel which I hope will satisfy. This is the prologue._

* * *

The kids at the youth center had worn Ryan out. He'd taken the kids to another center for an intramural basketball game and they'd stopped at a pizza place on the way back. 

"So, Ryan, you really think we played good today?"

"Yeah, JJ, you guys were great, you've really nailed that hook shot," Ryan smiled. JJ was one of the smaller kids, but he was tough.

Ryan volunteered at the youth center about three times a week, enjoying mentoring to kids from bad backgrounds and poor neighborhoods.

"All right, guys, finish up while I pay," Jodie, his partner, said, clapping her hands.

"I'm going to make a quick bathroom break," Ryan said. "I'll meet you all at the van."

He hurried to the bathroom and slammed the stall door, exhaling deeply.

He was going to be sick. Again. For the third time today. He threw up the single slice of pizza that he'd managed to get down.

He immediately felt better as the cramps in his stomach relented.

And just as fast as the nausea had come, he felt okay again.

He spit, stepped out and washed his hands and face.

He wasn't worried. Really. He knew that when he'd had cancer in high school that he'd been sick for weeks before they'd found the tumor.

But he was healthy now. For years. He had a beautiful girlfriend and a family he loved.

As he hurried to the van, pulling kids away from the candy machine, he knew what he had to do, though.

Even though it was nothing, he had to call his oncologist.

He didn't want to be sick again.

But something was wrong. He'd learned to listen to his body.

"You okay, Ryan?" Jodie asked.

"Yeah," Ryan said.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'll be right there, Anna, five minutes," Ryan called, rinsing the shampoo out of his eyes.

He loved his time with Anna but he never had hot water at his own apartment and he enjoyed her shower while he could.

Long-distance relationships were tough but he really loved Anna Stern. He'd never had a relationship last as long as this one or been as fulfilling.

"Your pancakes are going to be all…eaten, if you don't hurry!" Anna called.

He reluctantly rinsed and dried off, pulling on his jeans before joining her in the small kitchen.

"Ooh, Scruffy-wet Ryan," Anna giggled as he laced his arms around her. "I like him…"

"I'm glad," he said, kissing her. She always tasted good. Like pancakes. Okay, he was exaggerating, but she did taste delicious…

They'd been dating 3 years. He'd recovered from cancer and Anna had stood by him. He'd never doubted her. They were sophomores in college now, Anna at Colorado State while he went to UCLA with Seth and Luke.

"When's your flight?" she asked.

"3," he answered between kisses.

"No way, it's already 1:30!" Anna gasped.

No time for pancakes.

------- - - -- ------- -- - - -------------- - ---------------- -- -------------------------------- - --- ----

"Hey!" Ryan slammed the door to his apartment. He was rewarded by a groggy, obviously hungover Seth sitting up from across his trashed living room.

"Hey, man. Oh. You're home." Seth seemed to realize the ramifications of his statement.

2 empty kegs were overturned in the kitchen and cups, pizza boxes, cigarette butts and assorted trash littered every visible surface.

Seth himself was under a mound of garbage.

"Hey, Cohen, where's my…hey, Ryan…" Luke walked out in boxers.

"Dammit, guys. Seth, you have lipstick on your face and Luke, you're wearing my boxers again."

"All mine are dirty," Luke muttered.

"What color lipstick?" Seth rubbed his face.

Ryan sighed. "I can't deal with this right now. I have class…" He dropped his bag from the plane and sat down on it.

"Um, Ryan? I really think it's Saturday," Seth said.

Ryan paused.

Luke glanced at his wrist and seemed pleased to find a watch on it. "He's right. It's Saturday."

Ryan's phone rang. He answered it, still puzzled. "Yeah?"

"Ryan, you didn't forget dinner tonight, did you?" Kirsten asked.

"No. Dinner," he stated.

"Dinner at Dad's. Dress nice, there'll be lots of Newport Group people there."

Ryan glanced at Seth. "Isn't Seth going?"

"No, honey, remember? Seth has to work."

"Sure, yeah, I'll be at your house in…three hours?"

"Hurry, honey. Can't wait to see you," she said, hanging up.

He closed the phone and picked up his duffle bag. "Stay out of my room, Luke," he grumbled before returning to his car.

------- - - -- ------- -- - - -------------- - ---------------- -- -------------------------------- - --- ----

Ryan stayed in the poolhouse overnight before returning to his apartment for Sunday's football 'extravaganza'. Seth made everything an 'extravaganza'.

He had a light schedule on Mondays and was done by noon and usually he'd go to the gym or Larry's music studio or the youth center where he volunteered, but today he had a different destination. And he really didn't want to go.

He hadn't told anyone about how he'd felt lately. Not Anna or Seth. Definitely not Kirsten or Sandy. He was sure that he was just running himself too hard with his 21 credit hours of classes and partying and volunteering and long-distance relationship. But he wasn't sure enough to ignore his body. He'd told his shrink. He'd told Dr. Tarleton.

His appetite was gone again. He was sick after meals again. Dizzy. He'd almost collapsed after his workout last week.

He'd gone to the student health center for some blood tests ordered by Dr. Tarleton and instead of giving him the results over the phone, he was on his way for a face to face meeting with the doctor.

He promised himself that he wouldn't think about it until he had to.

He'd fully recovered from the cancer, if anything he was twice as active following his 'sickness'. He was on the dean's list, he'd traveled Europe with Anna over the summer and he stayed busy…he loved his life.

He didn't want to be sick.

But he knew something was wrong. It was worse than jet lag.

He didn't want to be sick. He had too much going on right now. Anna had too much going on.

But Dr. Tarleton would give him the verdict.

He turned up his stereo and tried to relax.

------- - - -- ------- -- - - -------------- - ---------------- -- -------------------------------- - --- ----

Ryan snuck into Dr. Tarleton's waiting room, narrowly avoiding Rita. He'd visited the oncology ward several times after he was cancer-free and Rita had decided that he was her adopted grandson and tended to monopolize his time. He really liked her and swapped emails with her on a regular basis but he didn't want to be questioned before getting the scoop from the doctor.

"Well, Ryan," Dr. Tarleton sighed, leading him into his office. "I wish I had better news."

Ryan sat down. He really didn't want to hear this. "What is it?"

"Your cell count's are abnormal. Worrisome abnormal. I want to admit you for a battery of tests…"

"Admit me? Wait a second, Dr. Tarleton…" Ryan balked.

"As a precaution, kid. CT's, MRI's, body scans, they take time and honestly, looking at your cell counts…you need the rest. I don't want to let you out of my sight until we get some answers."

"Dr. Tarleton, I'm a little tired, but nothing like before, nothing…" Ryan stammered.

"Have you told your parents?"

"No. I'd rather wait until I had something to tell them," Ryan admitted.

"Will you let me admit you?"

Ryan sighed. "Give me some time to get in touch with my professors, okay?"

"Sure. Let me know if you need me to speak to any of them or send you a note. I've already set up the tests for you and as soon as you're ready…we'll get you gowned up and up to radiology," Dr. Tarleton said.

"Gowned up? Oh, doctor, this is going to be hell, isn't it?" Ryan groaned, following the doctor out of the office.

------- - - -- ------- -- - - -------------- - ---------------- -- -------------------------------- - --- ----

Ryan called Anna after his last test of the night, around midnight. Dr. Tarleton had ordered a massive amount of tests on him and he was relieved for the reprieve until the morning.

"Hey, babe. Where've you been?" Anna answered.

"Had some errands. Took longer than I thought," he replied. He wanted to tell her everything…but he couldn't. Not when she was so far away and when he didn't know anything definite to tell her. He needed her…but he couldn't hurt her. Not until he was sure.

"You're not home, Seth's worried. Where are you?"

"Somewhere I can get some rest," Ryan replied. "How was your Monday?"

"It depends on whether you're going to tell me the truth. Where are you?"

Ryan sighed. He hated lying to her. "I'm in Newport. I didn't feel like driving back to LA tonight just so I can spend the whole night yelling at Seth to turn his music down or raiding Luke's room for my clothes. I'm tired."

"What about class tomorrow?" she asked.

"I'll be back in time for class," he lied. "What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she admitted.

He smiled. "I told you about napping between classes, you always have nightmares."

"I know. But…I was worried about you and wanted to talk to you and I couldn't find you…" she sighed. "I'm glad you called."

"I call every day," he whispered.

"I know. I love you."

"I love you, too. Talk to me awhile?" he asked, closing his eyes.

They had a relaxed ritual and she calmly started detailing her day, starting with her morning. Tomorrow, he'd have to fill the time in the same way.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan was exhausted when he arrived back in LA the next afternoon.

The apartment was spotless for once and Seth was on the phone, pacing.

Ryan waved at him, not wanting to interrupt and went into his bedroom.

"No, Mom, I'm serious, he just walked past me like nothing's up," Seth followed him, talking loudly.

"What's up?" Ryan asked.

"You've been AWOL for, like, 2 days, I mean, you missed classes and…" Seth started.

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't know I needed to check in," Ryan replied, surprised by Seth's concern.

"I'll call you back, Mom." Seth closed the phone. "Dude. What's up?"

"Nothing, I had some errands to run and…"

Seth walked over and pushed up his sleeve. "You're still wearing the bracelet."

Ryan was tired. He'd forgotten to take off the inpatient hospital bracelet.

"Were you at the hospital? Ryan?"

"Seth, don't…"

"Don't what?" Seth's face was drawn with worry.

"Don't stress. It's nothing, just a little check up, that's why I didn't mention it," Ryan began again.

"A check up. Overnight. In the fucking hospital…" Seth stated flatly.

"Yeah. They don't know anything yet, but…"

"But?" Seth's eyes were panicked now. "Ryan, why would you go there, you haven't been sick, you've been totally healthy, there's nothing…what's wrong?"

"Seth, I really need you not to panic," Ryan sighed. He couldn't take a manic Cohen right now. He needed to catch up on his homework before his classes the next day and he needed to get some sleep. He couldn't deal with hyperactive Seth in overdrive.

"Ryan, why'd you go to the hospital?" Seth asked, visibly calming himself.

"I…I haven't been feeling that well lately."

"Go on, man. Please."

Ryan sat down on the bed and Seth pulled out his desk chair, waiting for an explanation. "I've been throwing up after meals again. Dizzy. Just generally icky feeling. I don't want anyone to worry until I get a definite verdict."

"But…you saw Dr. Tarleton, right?" Seth waited for his nod. "And he kept you overnight for testing and honestly didn't tell you anything?"

"He's going to call me when he knows something, Seth. I swear."

Seth sighed. "What do you think?"

"I think that if something's wrong, I'll deal with it. I think that I'll be fine, even if I am sick. I think…"

"You're scared shitless," Seth whispered.

"No. I'm not," Ryan replied, honestly. "Not yet. I don't know anything yet. And you don't know anything either, Seth. You hear me?"

"Ryan…"

"No," he shook his head. "I don't want you running off to Sandy or Kirsten about this, not until I know something, okay? Promise me, Seth."

Seth stared at him, startled. "Ryan…"

"No. I mean it. I don't want everyone going into a panic over some fucked up blood tests. I want to be sure."

"And you'll tell them when you're sure," Seth said.

Ryan nodded. "I'll have to. I'll…if it turns out that I'm sick again…I'll need all the help I can get. Please, Seth…"

"Okay. Okay, man. But you'll tell me as soon as you know, right?"

"Yes."

"Promise," Seth said seriously.

"I promise, Seth," Ryan agreed.

Seth nodded. "Okay." He stood up and started for the door, but paused without leaving, turning back to face him. "Have you told _anyone_ that you've been feeling bad?"

Ryan shook his head. "No, Seth…"

"Okay, man…" Seth said, leaving.

* * *

Ryan was sitting on the couch, leaning forward, his whole body tense. 

He had to kick Luke's virtual ass, he had a case of beer riding on this game.

"And he goes deep…" Luke said through gritted teeth. Luke talked more during video games than Seth. He hadn't even thought that was possible until they moved in together.

"Come on, Ryan, you've got to go for the interception…" Seth said from nearby.

Ryan's phone rang and everyone jumped and he stole the ball as Luke dropped his controller.

"No fair, interference!" Luke yelled.

"Time out?" Seth called.

Ryan pulled the phone out of his pocket while they discussed the 'house rules' for PS2ing. "Hello?"

"Ryan?"

He knew that voice. And worse, he knew the tone of that voice. He stood up stiffly and turned to walk into his bedroom. Luke and Seth stopped talking, watching him. "Yeah. I'm here."

"I wish I had better news. There's something on the ultrasound. And the MRI," Dr. Tarleton said quietly.

"I guess I need to come in for a talk now," he stated. He sat down on his bed but he was completely numb.

He couldn't be sick again.

He couldn't.

He couldn't go through it again. He couldn't put his family and friends through it again.

He wasn't strong enough and he had so much more to lose.

"Ryan? Are you listening?"

"Just…give me a second…"

He looked up and saw Seth standing in the doorway. "Dude…"

He lowered the phone. "Um…can you tell Luke for me? I need a few minutes to myself…"

Seth opened his mouth and then realization washed over his face. "It's…is that the doctor?"

Ryan nodded.

"Okay…I'll tell Luke…" Seth said, disappearing, stumbling slightly in his rush.

"I'm back. What's my plan?"

"Can you come back to Newport for treatment?"

Ryan closed his eyes. "I'll call my professors tonight and set up a meeting with the dean. Will I be well by summer?"

Dr. Tarleton hesitated.

"Am I going to get well?" Ryan asked immediately, as the numbness was replaced by intense cold.

"Ryan, don't even think otherwise, we can fight this, just like last time…"

Ryan didn't know if he believed him or not.

"Ryan. I want you in my office by Friday. Okay? This is not something that you can sit on…"

"I'll see you on Friday," Ryan stated, closing the phone.

"Chino. He's not making sense," Luke said, walking in with Seth by the arm, worried.

"I'm sick," Ryan said.

"Sick?" Luke repeated.

"Very, very sick. I have some calls to make, my professors, the dean, Jodie and…fuck." Ryan remembered the important people suddenly. Kirsten and Sandy and Anna.

"Fuck," Luke whispered. He pulled Seth into a hug and they both watched Ryan lower his gaze to the floor, silent.

* * *

Kirsten was pleased to find Ryan at the door instead of her father. She'd deliberately played hooky from work today with Sandy and didn't want him to find out that she'd pawned off the budget meeting. 

"Hi, honey, what a nice surprise…" she said, embracing him.

"Hey. Is Sandy home? I need to talk to you guys," Ryan said, walking in.

"Is Seth with you?"

"He's coming in a couple of hours. Luke, maybe, too. Depends," Ryan said vaguely.

"Come in, honey, we're in the kitchen," Kirsten said, immediately sensing something off about her foster son.

She hadn't seen him so shut down in years, since his last big fight with Anna.

"Hey, kid, what's the occasion?" Sandy smiled, always glad to see one of his boys.

"It's…not a good occasion, I'm sorry. Sit down," Ryan nodded to her.

"Oh god…what…" she recognized the fear in his eyes, under the mask.

Sandy put his arm around her waist.

"I'm…I'm sick again. The cancer's back, it's centralized, or whatever and Dr. Tarleton thinks he can fix it with chemo like last time so we're probably going to go with that…" Ryan said slowly.

She felt her body go weightless and she found herself in the seat beside Sandy, gripping his hand tightly.

This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not to her family, not to Ryan.

He'd come so far…

"And I just got confirmation last night, I didn't want to tell you over the phone and I came straight home after I talked with my professors because…" he paused, taking a deep breath. "Because I knew after I told you that I wouldn't be able to tell anybody else…and I really hate that I have to ask you to help me like this again…"

Sandy got up first, pulling him into strong hug.

She watched as he crumbled and cried.

He was so scared.

She was so scared.

She embraced Sandy and Ryan, running her fingers through his hair like she did whenever he let her. They'd get through this. Again

He'd come to them. He was home.

* * *

"I can't tell her on the phone, she's just going to freak out, but if I don't tell her she's going to hate me for keeping it from her," Ryan was saying. 

"It doesn't matter how you tell her, as long as you fucking tell her, man!" Seth replied, shaking his phone at him.

"Everything all right?" Sandy asked, stepping in.

"Dad. Make him call Anna. He has to tell her," Seth said, frustrated.

"I know I have to tell her, but what the hell am I supposed to say, don't panic? I'm panicking and she's going to know it!" Ryan replied, frustrated.

"Ryan…" Sandy started.

"No. I'll do it. I'll call my girlfriend, the girl that stood by me last time I almost died and tell her that I'm almost dying again and I don't want her here. I can't do that, Sandy…if she asks me if I want her to come home, I don't think I can lie to her…"

Sandy had never seen Ryan so shaken. His blue eyes were glazed and distant. He turned to Seth. "Give me a few minutes."

"Sandy…I can't tell her on the phone…let me get a flight, I know if I see her in person that I can tell her…" Ryan said, desperate now.

"Hang on just one second," Sandy said. He looked at Ryan. "What are you taking?"

"Prescriptions? Why?"

"Because you are officially fucked up," Sandy stated.

Ryan gasped. "Sandy. Don't say 'fuck'…"

"You are in no shape to fly. You have to be at the hospital tomorrow and you know how tired you're going to be just from the poking and prodding, you couldn't do it after five hours of airports and flights," Sandy said.

Ryan put his hand over his face. "God…"

"I can call her…"

"No way. I'll do it. Just…give me some privacy so I can gather my thoughts?"

Sandy nodded. "I'm outside if you need me…"

Ryan didn't respond.

* * *

Anna walked out of her last class of the night and smiled when she recognized Ryan's familiar ring tone. "Hey, baby," she answered. 

"Hey. Where are you?"

"About to go home, Sabrina's bringing home tacos, I think, if Dennis doesn't eat them all," she answered honestly. "Where are you?"

"Home. At the Cohens."

"Party or something?" She stopped and waved a dollar at the clerk by the coffee machine.

"No. Anna…I need you…god, this sucks so much…"

Something was wrong. Ryan wasn't supposed to sound like this. Depressed. Sad. Something was wrong.

"Ryan, what happened?"

"I didn't want to tell you on the phone but I have to tell you because I tell you everything and even though I don't want you to leave school I really need you stick with me because I can't do this without you, I swear to god…"

She took the coffee and walked out, sitting down on a bench, dropping all her books on the ground. She clung to the phone. "Tell me, baby…"

"Cancer. Again. Chemo and pills and puking and bedrest…cancer, Anna."

She couldn't breathe.

"I hate this, Anna…I hate having to say this to you…"

She wanted to say his name, she wanted to wrap her arms around him, she wanted to make him not sick, not sad…ever…

"I am so sorry…" he whispered.

She opened her mouth but she couldn't talk.

"Anna?"

"I…"

"Anna…"

"I have to go."

* * *

Ryan was in the kitchen when Kirsten got up. 

"Hey. I was hoping to catch Rosa…what are you doing up?"

He smiled at her weakly. Anna wasn't returning his calls and he'd stopped calling her. "Nothing. Thinking."

"Too early for all of that," Kirsten smiled, going to start the coffee. "You feel okay?"

"Fine. Dreading today. Hopefully it'll go smoothly and I'll be back here before dark. You know how you always like us home by dark," he teased.

She didn't believe him. Despite his levity, she could tell he was scared and it showed on her face. They'd gotten bad at lying to each other.

He appreciated the Cohens more than he could ever express. They cared about him and they showed it, they had always been there for him.

"Anna?"

"She took it hard."

"She'll call," Kirsten said.

Ryan smiled. "How do you know I'm waiting for a call?"

"The phone's still in your hand," she replied.

* * *

She heard her alarm blaring on her nightstand but before she could fully wake up, the door swung open and her roommate rushed in. 

"You're going to miss your flight, we have to go right now, the cab's waiting…"

She remembered hanging up the phone. Walking to her car. Walking to her room. Crying for a full two hours before her roommates found her.

They'd bought her a plane ticket, forced her to email her professors who all replied before five am giving her two weeks of 'family leave' to spend with Ryan.

She hadn't called him, knowing that he was going to be at the hospital with his family all day but she couldn't stay away. She needed to be with him.

If he was sick again that meant that there was a chance she could lose him. She needed to spend all the time she could with him. Fuck school, fuck everything, she loved Ryan too much to be away from him at a time like this. She'd drop out if she had to.

She was still dressed in the clothes he'd called her in but she decided that fashion and cleanliness could wait until she had her feet on California soil again.

Kirsten insisted on staying with Ryan for his first chemo, which made Sandy and Seth stay insist on staying, too. Dr. Tarleton had startled them when they'd arrived, explaining that he didn't want to wait to start him on the meds. By this point, Ryan was exhausted and pissed off and sick of their constant chatter. He hadn't slept at all and now, sitting in the posh recliner with the IV's running into his veins, he had to say something.

"Please, can we just have a moment of silence?" he asked.

Seth stopped, his brown eyes flashing with concern. "You okay?"

"You're all giving me a headache. Can we just…take it down a notch?"

"Sorry, Ryan," Seth said immediately.

He was immediately apologetic. They were all frazzled, too, since he'd sprung it on them so suddenly.

"Seth and I are going to take a walk. We'll bring you back something to read," Sandy said.

"And I'll get some gum, it'll keep me from talking so much," Seth said.

"Guys…" he started.

"Will you get me some coffee?" Kirsten asked, her face hiding the tension effectively and relaxing Seth and Sandy.

"Sure thing," Sandy replied.

Ryan was shaken with his first chill as they walked out.

"Kirsten, can you pass me that blanket?" he asked after a long moment.

She seemed relieved to have something to do, fetching the blanket and draping it around his shoulders before settling on the arm of the chair.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Ryan." She started to stroke his hair gently and he closed his eyes, the tender gesture relaxing him instantly.

"You're being so strong, kid. We are so proud of you…but you have to promise to keep letting us take care of you…it's all I ask…"

"I can't do it by myself," he said, his voice pounding in his ears as another chill shook his body. "It's nice to finally have people that I can trust…I hate doing this to you, but…"

"You'd do it for us. I love you, Ryan, and we'll get through this just like last time."

* * *

Sandy pulled the car around as Luke and Dr. Tarleton helped his weakened foster son to the side entrance. 

Dr. Tarleton had given him a prescription for painkillers to him and explained about the intense side effects of the regiment of chemo. But none of them had been prepared for Ryan's utter loss of strength after his first dose of oxycotin.

Ryan couldn't even hold his head up but he insisted on going home to his own bed.

"I got him," Luke said, lowering his friend into the backseat of the BMW.

"Thanks, Luke. Are you following us?" Sandy asked.

"I have to pick up Larry and Summer from the airport, can you get him out?"

Ryan slumped against Seth's supporting shoulder.

"Sure, just come on in when you get there, he should be better once we get back to the house," Seth said.

Sandy glanced in his rear view mirror and watched as Ryan's drooping eyelids finally slid shut with a murmur to Seth.

"He wants to know if you can turn the heat on," Seth explained, reaching over and zipping up Ryan's jacket.

Kirsten handled the thermostat as he floored it, hurrying to get his family home.

"Mom and Dad? Can I come home, too?" Seth asked, once he was sure that Ryan was sleeping.

"Seth…" Kirsten said, glancing at Sandy.

"I'll go to summer school, but I want to be here…"

"Ryan wants you to stay in school. There's only two months left in this semester and you're only an hour away. We'll take care of him," Sandy said. "My caseload is light…"

"And I work from home half the time already to avoid Julie," Kirsten said, turning in her seat to face her son. "We'll take care of him."

"I should be here."

"Commute," Sandy said suddenly. "You could drive to class every day."

"With what car?" Seth sighed.

Kirsten glanced at him again, pleadingly.

"Well, if you agree to stay in school…maybe we can afford to get you a car. You both made the dean's list last month so you earned it…will you share it?"

"Are you serious?" Seth asked.

"If you promise to stay in school, then we'll go shopping tomorrow," Kirsten said, taking his hand across the gearshift.

"And I can commute? Stay with you guys?" Seth asked.

"If you promise to keep your grades up," Kirsten said.

"I can do that," Seth promised.

* * *

Anna rang the doorbell nervously, her single bag hanging off her shoulder. 

"Anna?" Rosa answered the door.

"Hey. Is he here?"

"Come in, he's in his room, everyone else is still sleeping, but he's been up a while. Won't eat anything and he won't even take anything to drink," Rosa said.

"Put on some tea, I'll talk to him," she said. Rosa took her bag with a nod.

Anna stepped into the room where she'd spent so many nights. The bed looked slept in but she heard the sound of retching from the bathroom.

As she pushed open the door, she heard Ryan's low voice spewing a series of obscenities before heaving again.

She crouched beside him and caught his attention by wiping his sweating forehead with a towel.

"Anna? These must be some serious drugs to make me hallucinate like this," he muttered, blinking at her will muted eyes.

"You're not hallucinating…"

He smiled sluggishly. "I'd kiss you if I hadn't been throwing up for the past five hours."

"You don't have to kiss me. Seeing your smile is enough for me," she replied, stroking his cheek gently.

He seemed to relax, turning his face into her touch. "Can you be here?"

"I've got two weeks…I'm not leaving your side."

He nodded, nuzzling his nose against her hand. "I love you so much…"

"Not as much as I love you," she whispered, pulling him against her. His skin was clammy and she could tell that he was miserable.

"I'm sick…this sucks…"

"Have you gotten any sleep?"

"I can't…too sick," he murmured in her ear.

"I'm here. Can I put you to bed?"

"I'm too sick to sleep…"

"Will you try?"

She felt his weak nod and gently helped him to his feet. She guided him to the bed, folding back the covers.

She pulled off his jeans leaving him in his boxers and a tank top before climbing into the huge bed with him. She wrapped her limbs around his chilled body before pulling the covers around them.

"I'm so cold…"

"I'm here, I'll warm you up," she promised, rubbing his arms and back.

He curled against her. "I'm so glad you're here…"


	3. Chapter 3

The house was buzzing with activity when Anna woke up in Ryan's arms the next afternoon.

Seth and Summer were bickering in the living room, oblivious to her passing. Luke, Larry, Sandy and Rosa were picking at fruit when she walked into the kitchen.

"He's still sleeping," she told them, accepting Larry's solemn hug.

"When'd you get here?" Sandy asked, taking her hand and squeezing it with a smile.

"A few hours ago," she told Sandy.

"Couldn't stay away either?" Luke asked.

"Not really. He…he says he's not scared but…"

"This is fucking scary," Larry finished.

Anna sat down between them.

In his room, Ryan woke up alone, Anna's pillow in his arms. The nausea was the first thing he focused on, the headache assaulting him next.

He didn't want to move.

"You okay?" Kirsten's voice was too loud.

"I feel like…I feel bad…" Ryan admitted, not sitting up.

"It's time for your meds, do you think you can keep them down?"

"No," he answered honestly. "But I have to try…"

"Headache?" she whispered, pulling back the covers and exposing his face to the dim light of the lamp.

"Yeah…almost like I'm seasick…"

She lifted his head and held up a cup of water. He sipped it gratefully and she put several pills in his open palm.

"Thanks…"

"Turn over and lie on your stomach. Try to sleep, you'll feel better when you wake up…"

He slowly rolled over to lie on his belly. His stomach revolted suddenly, burning from lack of food and his recent vomiting, but he managed to keep settled.

"Just take deep breaths and relax…"

He inhaled Anna's scent off her pillow and felt himself relax under Kirsten's watch. She started to massage his head and he drifted to sleep, comforted and safe.

* * *

Larry and Anna took the next shift while Sandy and Kirsten were out car shopping with Luke and Seth. Ryan was sleeping soundly and they decided to kill time on the playstation, Anna's ninjas annihilating Larry's.

"How're you handling it?" Anna asked him.

"Me?" Larry scoffed.

"Yeah. It's a little…too recent, isn't it?"

Larry sighed.

He was drastically different from high school, his Mohawk traded for a buzz cut and piercings in his nose and eyebrows. He was a millionaire with his own recording company and a two-year-old daughter that lived in Tahoe with his ex-wife. He'd stayed with his father throughout his illness, being there when the man took his last breath.

"He doesn't deserve this. Nobody does. But I want to be here for him. What about you?"

"He's…he's so strong. He hates being weak. But…already, it's taking its toll. I want to be here for him."

Ryan stirred for the first time in hours, reacting to their voices. She recognized his blue eyes as he recognized her. "Anna…hey, Larry…"

She helped him sit up, his chemotherapy pill having been given to him by Kirsten earlier and having drained him again.

"Long time no see," Larry grinned, shaking his hand.

"True, it's been, what, a month?" Ryan yawned.

"How're you feeling?"

"I feel like ass…and not in a good way," Ryan grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"It's just us, you don't have to get up," Anna said.

Ryan immediately lay down again, tugging the blankets around him. "I'm not very good company right now, but I don't want you guys to go anywhere."

"Rest. We can catch up later. Right now, your girl and I are in the middle of a battle extraordinaire," Larry said.

"You mind?" Ryan asked her.

"Rest. I'm not going anywhere," she promised.

He closed his eyes, complacent. She would have held his hand, but he was buried under the covers.

* * *

Seth was with him when he woke up again, playing a muted game on the playstation.

His head was pounding worse this time and his throat was parched.

Seth noticed him almost immediately with a grin. "Hey…what do you need?"

Ryan sat up and reached over for the glass of water on the nightstand but was assaulted with vertigo, spilling it all over the bed.

"That was a bad idea," Ryan said hoarsely, apologetic at his mess.

"Go get cleaned up, I'll find some dry sheets and I won't even joke about you wetting the bed…"

"Thanks, Seth." He knew that he'd been sleeping most of the day but as he got to his feet and noticed the small stack of pills for his next dose, he didn't think that he was going to have the energy to go out and socialize.

Ryan drank some of the cool water from a pitcher before going to get cleaned up.

The shower was warm and refreshing but his muscles were hurting by the time he dried off and dressed.

"It's kind of late, everybody's pretty crashed out…but Summer started snoring so I came down to check on you," Seth said, making the bed when he stepped out.

"Where's Anna?"

"She fell asleep in the living room and she seemed pretty comfortable. How're you doing?"

"Drained," Ryan said, swallowing the pills.

"You want to get some air?" Seth offered.

"I think…I think I better lie down," Ryan replied, dizzy suddenly. He sat down on the bed before Seth could realize that he was having trouble.

"Dude, you've been in here for, like, fourteen hours…"

But Ryan couldn't hear him because everything went black as he leaned back against the bed.

* * *

"It's normal for him to be fatigued…" Dr. Tarleton said, sitting down with them in the den. Seth had woken everyone in the house when Ryan had fallen asleep mid-conversation and Kirsten had called the man for a housecall.

"Dr. Tarleton, he was lifting weights a week ago, he played basketball with Luke last weekend, and now, he won't even leave his room…" Seth said.

Summer put her arm around him to comfort him.

"He's not only getting the chemo when he comes to the hospital, he's taking oral medication. Every time you give him a dose of pills, it's like introducing poison into his body, it's poisoning the cancer but it's going to affect his health as well," the man explained quietly. "It's going to take a few days for him to get back on his feet."

"So we're overreacting," Kirsten said.

"It's nothing to worry about. Just keep watching him closely, make him eat, even if he gets sick, he has to eat so he can get as many nutrients as possible in him. His temperature's normal, pulse is normal for sleeping and you all say he's lucid when he wakes up…"

"Thank you for coming so late," Sandy said.

"Any time. I'm worried about him, too, but he's getting the best treatment we could find."

* * *

Sandy woke Ryan when it was time for him to take his pills again. Ryan didn't even bother trying speaking, he simply swallowed the pills and rolled over again.

Anna stepped over, shaking him gently. "Ryan, honey, wake up…"

"Tired," Ryan rasped, his voice gone. He wouldn't open his eyes.

"You have to get up and eat something, Ryan," she urged.

"Later," he mumbled.

"Now. Ryan, come on, sit up." She glanced at Sandy and they pulled the covers back and she lifted him to sit up.

He blinked groggily at them, annoyed. "I'm not hungry."

"It doesn't matter. You're going to get dehydrated and you won't have any energy if you don't eat or drink something. Now, come on, we're taking you out for some sun and sugar."

Ryan shook his head at her, covering his eyes solemnly. He swung his feet off the bed. "No sun. Quiet. Somewhere still…"

"Still?" Sandy asked.

"Everything's spinning all the time…I need it to be still," Ryan stated curiously, not moving his hand from his face.

"Ryan, are you dizzy?"

He lowered his hand and she saw that his nose had started to bleed and his pupils were fully dilated. "Water?"

Anna studied him as his shoulders slumped suddenly and his eyelids fell closed.

"Ryan, wait, stay with us…" Sandy said, supporting him as he went limp.

"Anna, call an ambulance," Sandy said after a long moment when Ryan didn't move again. He was out cold. She was frozen.

"Anna. He's going to be all right, just use the phone in the den," Sandy urged.

She rushed from the room.

* * *

Larry, Luke and Summer stayed home to keep down on the chaos. Sandy rode with Ryan in the ambulance while Seth, Anna and Kirsten followed in Seth's new car.

It was four hours before Dr. Tarleton found them in the waiting room.

"Dr…"

"He's okay. He had a bad reaction to one of the medications," Dr. Tarleton admitted.

"You said he was fine…" Seth said.

"I thought he was, I'm sorry…" Dr. Tarleton started.

"What kind of reaction?" Anna asked quietly.

"An allergic reaction. It altered his breathing…but we've counteracted it. His brain activity is normal, we've flushed his system and we're working on balancing his electrolytes. He's conscious and he asked me to tell you that he's feeling better. Would you like to see him?"

"You don't have to ask," Anna whispered, Kirsten's arm keeping her steady.

"Follow me," Dr. Tarleton said, leading them up the elevators to Ryan's room.

"Rita, I don't want it, it tastes like ocean water," Ryan's weak voice was aggravated from the room.

"You have to eat something, its soup not brine," Rita scolded.

"Well, he's feeling well enough to be stubborn," Sandy smiled.

"God, I feel like I've been on a long trip," Ryan said, relief in his eyes.

Anna rushed over and immediately worked around his iv's and monitors to embrace him tightly. "Don't you ever do that again…"

"I'll certainly try…I don't remember what happened but I'm sorry I scared you," he said.

"I can breathe again now that I see you…are you all right? How do you feel?" She asked. She didn't want to smother him and she knew that Kirsten and Sandy wanted to see him, too, but she had been dying without him.

"Tired, but not like before. I felt like I was sinking, it…it sucked," Ryan replied.

"Ryan, don't say 'suck'," Kirsten said, walking to the other side of the bed with Sandy.

"Sorry," he smiled.

"When can you come home?" Seth asked quietly.

"I'm going to stick around and have my next chemo treatment. Make sure nothing else is going to set me off," Ryan replied. He turned to Anna apologetically. "Sorry I won't be home to keep you company."

"I'm not going anywhere," Anna whispered. It bothered her that he was so fine with his recent scare but when she laced her fingers with his, she could feel his fear.

_tbc...I promise..._


End file.
